I decided to write about the current state of K-Pop because it has always been a hobby of mine, and now more than ever, new groups are being homogenized ever since the rapid success of the girl group NewJeans. Due to their unique marketing and access to funding, their success has led to companies across K-Pop to be less protective of their groups’ unique identities and try to replicate their success which saddens me. Now that NewJeans in having conflict with their company, I thought it would be interesting to use them as a reference point and the changes within the industry since their debut.

I struggled with this essay even after discussing it with both the professor and my brother about it. I did several outlines and brainstorming before developing the structure of the first draft I wrote. My first draft was written in two long sprints across two consecutive days. This draft is the one I shared with my peers for review that didn’t include any sources. I then edited twice before incorporating sources to strengthen my argument.

What I like most about my op-ed is that it takes a nuanced and understanding stance towards the conflicts surrounding the group grounding my essay in current times. I’ve seen a lot of online discourse about them but it usually leans fully supportive of them or fully against them because of their creative director’s controversies. Like the op-ed about Chappell Roan, I found myself initially directing my anger towards the group themselves which was something I wanted to avoid. After discussing my topic more with my brother, I realized that my essay should be directed more towards their management as they truly had little to no say in their careers and success. I think framing my argument in a way that expresses both my knowledge and love for the genre as a long-time fan also softens the piece a bit. One last thing I enjoyed was the comparison to the other group. In my first outline, I hadn’t considered using the other group as a point of comparison but I think it worked well in highlighting key differences and shifts in priorities that I am against. 

The peer workshop and feedback were helpful because it was pointed out to me that my thesis or main argument wasn’t as clear as it should be. My essay starts off with a personal story and I was recommended to use my thesis in the first small paragraph where that story was partially introduced. I improved my thesis by making it clearer, but placed it after my story rather than the beginning. The feedback about my main argument was very helpful nonetheless as it still pointed out to me that my points needed organizing throughout the piece, but I’m still unsure if I did this successfully.

I would have liked to improve both the sources I chose and the incorporation of them if I had more time. I struggled with deciding what points to find sources for, and even then I struggled with finding the right sources for what I thought would be strongest for my essay. I think my transitions could be a lot smoother and help with presenting my main points throughout. One thing I would have liked is to present statistics about younger idols debuting or being trainees because it would strengthen my argument, but I struggled with finding a source. I think if I had that, I would have been able to spend more time talking about the struggles of kids growing up in that environment.

I would have also liked to incorporate any counter-arguments since there are a lot of direct explanations from the creative director herself discussing her intentions with marketing them the way she did. I think reflecting on a counter-argument would make my piece stronger since the group I wrote about still has a very active fan base regardless. In terms of research, I think it would have been easier to outline my piece surrounding pre-existing articles instead of struggling to insert quotes afterward.

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